bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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