as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I need water and some morals
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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