If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
