Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
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I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
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I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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