I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Nicole vs. Life
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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