go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
