Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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