I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well I just put wine in my tea
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
