i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize