I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
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So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize