i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize