I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
