She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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