If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
