I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
operation have a gay friend backfired
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Pants are for mortals
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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