Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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