my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
