3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Sober January is a disaster.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
