Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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