Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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