SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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