My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
