The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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