As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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