Don't you send me to vm
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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