Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
