That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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