I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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