When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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