i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
someone owes me an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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