He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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