omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize