he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
