I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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