as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
