I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
