discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
