listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
