i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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