I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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