Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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