"it" just moved
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Enjoy the penises
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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