babies were throwing up all over the place
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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