so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
