I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
