it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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