I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
someone owes me an orgasm
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Four minutes until I can fart!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
