I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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