i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I deserve this hangover.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
