i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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