He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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