But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think your dad took our porno
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
