I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
This toilet bowl is my home.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
