swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
