i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
