Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize