Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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