Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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